Spiritual Practice: The Gift and the Problem of Practice

So learning how to practice something that has never been taught in the world before is a real challenge. And I feel whatever I, we can do to assist you in developing this practice and doing it successfully is very important. Otherwise, who you gonna call? [laughter] So, here we are.

And Patricia and I are going to talk about practice today. This is a, the first of a series of sessions that we’d like to have with you around practice and life and the experience of the Presence itself. So, we’ll begin today with practice.

For this I will need notes. This session is called “The Gift and the Problem of Practice.” And we give this gift and this problem to you because your life is important, for reasons that will be beyond your understanding and my understanding. It is because you were sent into the world for a purpose. And that purpose is connected to the Greater Coordination that represents God’s work both within this world and throughout the Universe beyond, far beyond our reckoning.

And your life is important, too, because you are responding to God’s New Message for the world, which means Heaven is counting upon you to respond, to prepare and to engage with your greater role as it becomes revealed to you over time. That means that I, as the Messenger, and We, as the Assembly here, and the Angelic Assembly itself need you to prepare and to become a serious student, and to be successful in your preparation. And by successful, I do not mean perfect, perfect or to achieve perfection, but, instead, a high level of functionality, clarity, simplicity, power and honesty.

So it’s important for you to know here that in this practice you are not doing this for yourself alone. This is not for your happiness or edification, or even to aleve you fully of suffering because the practice itself will present you with new problems. And you can suffer over those, too.

Here we are investing in your development and in your future, for our futures are tied together. Therefore, we practice for ourselves and for one another and for those who have sent us into the world. If you can hold this understanding you will find the time; you will find the motivation;  you will find the commitment. And it will be a very different experience for you.

So practice of this nature is clearly a gift. It is the means by which you can reform and redirect your life through developing a deeper awareness of consistent practice, and by building step by step, brick by brick, a foundation for a greater life—a new life. For to have this kind of Knowledge and Wisdom will mean a new life, for you.

I know many of you are beginning to move into that new life and feel the movement itself, and sense the change in direction and emphasis for you; which is entirely natural, which is coming from within you, as if that silent hand were moving you from within.

This is a gift of practice now also because of the condition of the world. There is still enough freedom, affluence and stability in the world in your life to give you this opportunity. And these are things which may not be available to us in the future. So life holds great windows of opportunity, and this is one of them. It’s not something you want to postpone or take lightly—that this window is open for you now. If we could but see what is coming over the horizon, clearly, you would know this to be true.

And the third thing is we have open world communication networks that allow the Worldwide Community of the New Message to grow, to develop, to nourish itself and to become a force for good in the world. These networks may not be available to us in the future—may not be free, may not be open.

Life’s great opportunities come and are gone. Never think they are always available to you. That is because your life is in coordination with other forces that are moving other people, other beings within this world and beyond.

So Knowledge becomes activated within you at these kinds of times, becomes restless, anticipatory. You sense that things are changing. How many of you have felt this? Just a few… more than a few. OK, then, hands up! OK…

Patricia: That’s our signature experience, right? [laughter]

Marshall: Right. Standing at the precipice.

But we have a problem with practice. The problem with practice is, is that you can only practice. You can’t stop practicing. You can only determine what you will practice and what it will serve. You’re practicing all the time. And you’re demonstrating the effects of your practice, though you may try to conceal that. Put on a good show in the world, you’re still demonstrating the effects of your practice. You’re demonstrating these things and practicing and you cannot change it, just like you cannot change the movement of time or the meaning of your mortality.

So while the gift of great practice is now being given to you, you have this problem. This problem is, is an amazing thing. And I would like to read to you from Steps to Knowledge which, one of the Steps that Ayesha reviewed for us this evening, Step 80, which is “I Can Only Practice.” [To Patricia] Would you read it for us? Just the first two paragraphs, yeah.

Patricia, reads:

You can only practice. Life is practice. We are merely redirecting your practice so that it serves you and so that it may serve others. You practice all the time, repetitively, over and over. You practice confusion, you practice judgment, you practice projection of blame, you practice guilt, you practice disassociation and you practice inconsistency. You strengthen your judgments by continuing to exert them. You strengthen your uncertainties by continuing to emphasize them. You practice your self-hatred by continuing to influence it.”

If you look at your life objectively but for a moment, you will see that your whole life is practice. Therefore, you will practice regardless of whether you have a curriculum for your benefit or not. Therefore, we give the curriculum which you may now practice. It will replace the practices that have confused and belittled you, that have conflicted you and that have led you into error and into danger. We give you a greater practice so you will not practice those things which undermine your value and your certainty.”

Step 80, I can only practice.

Marshall: Going through Steps to Knowledge it’s, it’s so easy to pass through a Step like that and never really take it to heart and… That’s why we do STEPS more than once. This is, I don’t think it’s possible for you to plumb the depths of STEPS one time through. Every one of them is like a trap door [laughter] that you can fall through. And they’ll reveal their secrets to you when they’re ready…when you’re ready, yeah.

So the problem of practice is, is that we can’t escape it. There’s no time out when you stop practicing. And whatever you practice you reinforce, particularly if your practice it habitually. And or course most of what we are talking about here is very unconscious; you’re simply doing it. The mind repeats its patterns over and over again. It goes to familiar places. It dwells in familiar ideas. It recycles old information in preferred ways. It projects its fear into the future and its fantasy. It recalls the past in its own…versions. And while it does this it’s strengthening itself and reinforcing itself.

So here the old adage that “Practice makes perfect” is really not correct. What’s correct is that practice makes permanent. And you can see this permanence in people whose ideas, beliefs and fixed view of the world is [are] so solid that nothing will change it. Even the Presence of the Angelic Assembly will not change it. The mind is like concrete—you have to keep stirring it to keep it viscous and pliable and usable. If you let it sit for too long it becomes hardened and you can’t do anything with it; becomes the prison house in which we live, confusing us, tormenting us, holding us back.

For without Knowledge the worldly mind seeks to build walls of belief, habit and fantasy around itself to protect itself from a dangerous and uncertain world, and then, tries to assert itself from this position. Take a moment and think of who may be demonstrating such things to you at this moment, that you will be aware of.

So we have habits of being in deep ruts. This is how we’ve come together living in separation. [To Patricia] Do want to speak of this, yeah?

Patricia: Well you know when I was a child, I grew up in a rather large family…seven children. And I just remember in that era, my mother would comment here and there, and I love my mother, truly I do. And I think this is more a feature of the time that I was hearing through her, but she would say about someone or someone, “Oh, she or he has such a nice personality.” And I remember even hearing that then, “A personality. A nice personality.” Not that you have a bad or a nice personality, necessarily, but a personality at all, you know?

And this is such a predicament because we are so formed by the time we find something like an advanced curriculum like Steps to Knowledge. We are so formed. So I wrote this: “habits of being in deep ruts.” I mean, habits of being, a sense of ourselves, how we have come to know ourselves… And now we come upon, you know, a preparation that might have us question how we are, you know? And not only question but begin to have to redirect how we are.

Marshall: Right

Patricia: This is really something, um, yeah… So in hearing Marshall, you know, I -phew-… How many of us are on track, truly? I mean we did find Steps to Knowledge, you know? That’s something, that is something. Chance? I don’t know. But uh, even that, I mean to what extent can we penetrate these Steps—it’s a question—um, let alone practice them? And um, you know…

So, I know myself I have, in a sense, two sets of practices, so to speak: formal practices, formal, which would be sitting down with my Steps, reading my Steps, considering my Steps, stillness practice, active contemplation…inquiry, certain things I’m studying—actively—one of which is Knowledge. I have active, special studies underway. That, this is formal practice.

But then there’s active practice, which is being out in the world. And having to take, monitor actually how you are doing and how your mind is doing and what your mind is doing, you know…

Marshall: That’s right.

Patricia: …things of this nature, you know? If we employ the great practices out in the world, is that a formal practice or an active practice? That’s rather active for me, which if I’m really listening, if I’m really attempting to see something, you know, in the moment. Do I have the presence of mind to actually employ one of these great practices, versus lapse into complete, you know, fog, preoccupation? Even when you’re listening to someone, I mean, it is, it’s really something to really listen to what they’re saying, where they may be coming from as they are communicating, what their condition is, OK? And at the same time track how you’re responding and what your mind is doing, even in relation to what they’re saying, let alone everything else it’s thinking. Those are, this is an active practice. Live. Real. Real time, boots on the ground kind of thing.

Marshall: Yes.

Patricia: But it does, it’s a tremendous attempt to try to override habit. My brother, you know, was a student of a great teacher. And one of his teachings was about automaticity, you know, the problem of automaticity: personality firing away—reacting, responding. Meanwhile, where’s Knowledge? So…

Marshall: Yeah. And what Patricia’s just talking about here is conscious practice. She’s inserting this practice into her experience in both arenas, both the formal practice and the active practice which we’re all encouraged to do.

The danger here is the unconscious practice that runs itself continuously without our awareness. And of course without awareness then we have no authority over it. We have no way to redirect it. We have no way to stop it. We have no way to insert a different kind of practice into our experience. We just keep responding in the predictable kinds of ways. And of course people in their conversations with each other reinforce these reactions constantly, and even take delight in doing so.

So, the consequence of all this is these practices, which are long standing, as well as the influences of the world and the persuasions of the world have shaped and distorted you and your life…to a very great degree, to the point where you really don’t know who you are, why you are here, where you are going, what your life is about. And I’m talking about the human condition, not you personally, but… You’re really at sea; your life is haphazard, no real discernible direction. You’re just going from thing to thing and hoping tomorrow will be better than yesterday.

So Steps to Knowledge comes along and gives you a prime directive to re-engage with your natural state. But to do that there is the fog of confusion that’s within you, within everyone. And the thing about fog is interesting. Fog is without distinction. It makes clarity very difficult to achieve about anything. Your circumstances become gray and indistinct. Your experience becomes gray and indistinct. It’s as if the aliveness has gone out of you and you’re living in a gray world. It’s called the fog of confusion.

So, since we’re always practicing and since we tend to practice the same things over and over again, we’re being given an opportunity here to redirect our minds, our experience and our lives.

And it is a big task, OK? And you’re going to do while you remain functional within the world. You’re going to do this in such a way that every change you make you have a chance to adapt to it and to restabilize around it. You’re going to do this in such a way that your stability and clarity of mind grow in time and are not blown asunder because you went too far too fast, verging on the edge of insanity.

So the Steps are many and the journey is long and careful, and you are not leading it.

Patricia: But you need to participate in a real forthright manner with yourself…

Marshall: Absolutely.

Patricia: …I mean, can you imagine, I mean really… you hear this, this phrase that I’m sure twangs all of us, OK?, cord—pluck: “Are you living the life you know you must live?” And it’s just like a twang. You know, I’m speaking of especially in that time in our lives before we found something like Steps to Knowledge, where we had no sense of, where we may not have had a sense of anything; we don’t even know what we’re doing. We think we do. And then something like that crosses our path: “Are you living the life you know you must lead?” And we think, well, you know as you first begin to engage perhaps with the Revelations, and you might see the people-place-and-purpose moniker, the three Ps people put… And so, “Oh it’s about the people.” “Oh, it’s about the place.” “It’s about the purpose, right?” Yes! Well, what about all this stuff ?

See, this is the work, when the New Message calls us to do the work. This is, this is real, this is where studenthood becomes very unique to each of us, you know? And um, so I don’t know how this is coming together for you. It may have to come apart first before it comes together; I don’t know. And many of us have had the experience of our lives coming apart right before, in a sense, finding either Steps to Knowledge or some aspect of the teaching. You know, it just, the ground can’t, just isn’t holding anymore. You know, you’ve run out of roadway in the lives that we were living, let’s say. And I know I’m not speaking for all of us, maybe just some. But it just, this, this is so, this is signature Knowledge, for me, the presence of Knowledge: when the road runs out. You know, like I can look back on former times in my life when I had big plans, big personal plans. They looked real and 3-D in my mind, and they had a lot of my personal intention behind them and everything… And my God, the road, the road ran out. It just, it just turned to nothing. And there you were, you know?

So, (sighs), my God, and that’s interesting. And that in a way it’s a gift because there’s a lot of our personality tied up with those kind of machinations and plans. So when the road runs out, because Knowledge isn’t going there. It’s just not going there. Y’know, there’s no aliveness there. Some of those features of our personality are left hanging there. And for some of them, it’s time to leave them. It really can be confusing, intermittently confusing because we are changing as we go as we are following this innate, indigenous force, which is the way Knowledge actually tends to function. I mean sometimes we may hear things. Sometimes we may see things; this is all true. You know, these are emanations of this Greater Intelligence.

Oh, my God… But…and so we leave parts of ourselves behind. It’s very poignant. I don’t know if you’ve had the opportunity to actually depart part of yourself, physically even. When you leave something behind, like the surgeon, you know (chuckles) and there’s the operating room and you’re on the table and you leave that operating… you are not whole and complete anymore… It’s really different, you know what I mean…like, what, you know, OK, I’ve got you know… now I’ve got 95% of myself to do what I have to do, maybe let’s say. Yeah it’s poignant; it’s poignant.

Same thing for our personalities. They got us so far, but they, they’re you know.. And so…

Marshall: So you know we’ve all came [come] to this rendezvous, or in the process of coming to this rendezvous here with the New Revelation. And we’re pretty beat up from life. You know, we’re, we’ve gone through some real things. We’ve got some damage, you know, some of us who are a little bruised, you know? And we come here because there’s something mysterious bringing us here. Since I’m not promising you utter happiness, utter peace, utter contentment and all the things you’ve ever wanted, um, something else has brought you here—a very powerful deep and mysterious force.

People often say, “Why am I not experiencing Knowledge? I mean, I ask questions; I don’t get anything.” Well, Knowledge will speak to you once in awhile, when it’s really important. Ah, but the rest of the time it is a force moving you, trying to keep focused in the right direction. And once you gain access to that direction, to keep navigating your life [with] that invisible hand again. Meanwhile we’re, we’re always throwing ourselves off course, of course.

But um, so what happens is between the exigency of our lives and where we end up in how we are today and the promise and the gift of Revelation, there is a gap. And that gap is the condition that we have arrived in. And so, to gain hold of that condition is very, very important. Because until that can happen, you won’t have the drive, the determination, the discipline, the understanding to engage with Revelation at this level very effectively for quite a while. And you’ll have to come to terms with your own weakness. I mean, the inability to show up for practice or even do a practice for days on end or weeks on end, or you start, then you quit and you come back—this is weakness of the mind.

And I’m not saying that to disparage you but that’s a product of what life has done for you and with you. That’s the condition in which you have arrived, oK? And ah, it’s a miracle you have arrived, and it is a blessing that it is so.

But this, then, becomes a real tremendous challenge. And the dispensation here is the gift of the pathway. And the emphasis throughout the New Message to prepare, to return, to remember, to engage, to build all the attributes that you will need to go forth…

Patricia: Hmm… “Build the attributes you will need to go forth…”

Marshall: You just don’t go forth. You have to build those attributes. And one of the things that is going to motivate you is to really take stock of where you are; where you’ve been; the decisions you’ve made—the ones that were important, the ones that led you astray; the opportunities in your life, which only come around ever so seldom; and the things you have been willing to give up and the things you still hold onto. It’s, and to do this without self-condemnation, this is a… Why people don’t do this is they would feel so terrible about themselves. But I’m telling you all, it’s alright to look at your life and be appalled [laughter], alright? It’s quite alright, because that’s where you are, and that’s who you have to work with.

And Knowledge is not going to interfere with this process by giving you things to do you can’t yet do, or know things you can’t yet know, or see things you can’t yet see. So, there is a Wisdom here to give you to yourself at the threshold of the Revelation, in the early study of the Revelation. And any progress you make here yields tremendous rewards. So this is not about achieving ultimate states. This is about gaining ground, a regaining your true identity, your true integrity and your true strength, and your relationship with those who sent you, and your awareness of your direction in life and the strength to follow it. All those you have to reclaim and build. It’s not just when sudden revelation, sudden insight… Every day, what I’ve been told, for me, every day is an opportunity to build strength and capacity for what you’re here to do, oK? Every day—even my days of rest. And in that sense there’s really no time off, you know?

And the other directive I’ve been given, which I’ll share with you even though it may seem a little daunting, is always know where your mind is going … and to pull it back and to redirect it. Otherwise your mind is like a wild stallion, it’s just gonna, you can’t control it.

Patricia: You know we, we talk about, or Steps to Knowledge and the New Message talks [talk] about this phenomenon of the marriage or the reunion of two minds—the mind we think with and the mind we know with. But then there’s this, then there’s another—so we set that aside for a second and think of this… Let me ask you, Marshall…

Marshall: Uh huh…

Patricia: …this notion of a partnership… I mean, there’s the personal part of us, we are people, we’re personal people. And there’s this force of Knowledge moving through our life with some intention. So, at some point, you know, there needs to come to pass a partnership.

Marshall: Uh hum…yeah.

Patricia: You know, but what is Knowledge working with, and what are you up for personally? Really, so the bulk of the change is probably going to have to happen on the personal side, correct?

Marshall: (nods yes)

Patricia: Yeah, so this is when, you know, we get unique with our studenthood.

Marshall: Hmmm…

Patricia: This is why each of our, you know, the nature of our studenthood, person to person, is unique.

Marshall: Now there’s another factor to this, and this is very mysterious, um. The important turning points in your life are part of a Greater Coordination that goes far, far beyond you. So while you may feel ready or have a sense of a change that’s coming over the horizon, you may have to wait for quite a while for other forces to line up to make that possible.

I had mentioned the example of anticipating Steps to Knowledge, or I didn’t know it would be called Steps to Knowledge, but anticipating a book of practices and waiting six years until it could happen.

Patricia: Right

Marshall: Meanwhile, I had to completely change my life and circumstances, I mean… So I had to go through a tremendous process of foundation building for a new life, and uh…

Patricia: Revision…

Marshall: Revision…

Patricia: Re-vision, yeah…

Marshall: I had to relocate and I had to do many things. And even then I had to wait until the Assembly was ready because when the Assembly’s ready it means that it’s going to affect the lives of other people, and even other beings in the universe. You have to get this notion of a Greater Coordination. OK, so many things have to line up for something like this to happen.

We, living in Separation, we think our, our life and our circumstances are just about us and our, the things that immediately around us, unless a hurricane comes and knocks our house down, or something intervenes in our life to change our circumstances. But in this matter, because we’re returning to Relationship…

Patricia: Wow, yeah…

Marshall: …the things that happen are governed by Greater Forces. You do the work so you can be a part of that.

Now, I want to give a caution because all these things we’re talking about: practice, and you can only practice, you’re always practicing; you could become very self-obsessed about this…

Patricia: Yes…

Marshall: …alright? SAnd some of you are already self-obsessed about things like this. I’m going to relieve you of that burden. (laughter) Because that is one of the things you practice unconsciously, is obsessing over your thoughts and feelings, progress and healing, and psychology and all kinds of other things.

So I bring to you, then, my 80/20 principle.

Patricia: Oh…

Marshall: This principle applies to many things. So in this situation it applies because when you’re really doing the correct development, 80% of your focus is on the outside and 20% is on the inside, which is about opposite of what, where people begin, which is usually 90% on the inside, 10% on the outside. And a few people are, you know, completely unaware of their internal state so they’re very obsessed on the outside, so it’s not…uh, it can go to the other extreme as well.

But doing the work to build your Pillars and to go through the kinds of refinement of your outer engagement that’s necessary, it should be taking about 80% of your time. And this is the antidote to self-obsession. If you’re self-obsessed beyond that, you’re not doing your work on the outside. And I know what work on the outside can look like. So, it’s not just going to your job every day. Yeah.

So the New Message give us a vast array of practices and directives. When you begin to penetrate the New Message you see it’s giving you so many things you could do. Well, you’re not going to do them all, certainly. But to take a few of them on and really practice them over time is really valuable. In that sense I recommend you always be working on a project. Like, if you’re going to practice inner listening, you’ve got to practice for months to get better at this. You can’t just do it once or twice and think, “Well that was neat” and then go tell everyone about it in the next school session. This becomes like a personal, you know, a study of yours. And there are many studies, many study pathways in the Revelation.

But take them on and stay with them, and not too many at any given time, based upon what you feel is most important to you, yeah.

80/20. 80/20 has another important which I’ll mention, which is: 80% of your experience doesn’t mean a damn thing and 20% of it may be important (laughter). So don’t miss the 20 by being obsessed with the 80, which includes your dreams and your momentary experiences and the happenstance events of your life and all this kind of stuff. And of course people love all that stuff, so it’s, you know…

To Knowledge it’s like, phew (points thumb back over shoulder.) It’s water under the bridge, just flow of time until something important happens. So it’s important, you want to know what that 20% is really like in your own experience—the things that really matter, the “boil down” that Patricia often talks about.

What REALLY matters? I’ve got a year to live, what really matters? That’s the 20%.