What Leads to Personal Spiritual Awakening?

Definitely a persistent and pervasive sense of pressure I know I felt, which was this sense of having to get somewhere; that there was something important about your life and you had only so much time to get there. And as the years went by, as weeks and months rolled past you, that pressure began to build almost to an insanity point, which is: “What am I here to do? What is it?” As you look out at the world and see the world-changing, “Am I connected to that? What is it?” So that sense of pressure and call, I think many have felt.

PS:  For some of us I think we seek for greater meaning in our work, in relationships and this is earnest and sometimes premature in a way. Because we need to go further even, even to transcend those circumstances because the meaning may not be there, you know. So there’s this going on, needing to depart and go on and not really being able to fully account for why you’re feeling moved to do that you know.

RS: Maybe, you know, you find yourself doing things you’ve done forever with people you’ve done this forever with and you just can’t do it anymore. (PS: Yeah, Yeah) You just can’t do this anymore, this kind of conversation or this kind of social stimulation, or going to this job—you just can’t do it anymore. And it really comes to a boiling point. And it’s as if, you know, stepping back, you’ve been walking on the pavement of life along with everyone else and the pavement is well laid, seems to be going in this direction. And then the pavement all of a sudden runs out from under you and there’s nothing in front of you now. And you look over and that friend or the sibling or the co-worker—they’re still walking on the pavement. What’s the problem? Well, what is this instability you feel, you know? You used to be so natural and relaxed, now you’re so serious and upset and concerned. Relax. Don’t take your life so seriously. Life is for joy. Life is for happiness. Do what you want. Do what makes you happy you know. But you cannot deny that under the fact, that underneath your shoes is rocky surface, unsettled, unsure. And you can’t just roll it back, you can’t just walk backwards back onto pavement, because for you the pavement has ended. Not for them, for you.

And this is important because the awakening is person by person. It happens according to both our readiness for it, which is how complete we feel with the many allurements of the world, many stimulations of the world. But it also happens because greater forces are calling us out as if our card has been called by a Higher Power. And so until that time happens, though, it can be a prolonged period of great discomfort, disorientation. And without some resolution, this can lead to depression, to addiction, to all manner of, you know, forms of self-punishment or self-denial, disassociation from others and society.

And it’s understandable. Why? Because the deeper, real aspect of you, you beyond this life, is moving. But if nothing in your life confirms that and if you personally can’t accept that, then there is a fork in your being—you are split. And that division within brings a lot of ill health if it can’t be reconciled by this awakening in this process of return that follows.

PS: You know, one thing that I think I’ve noted and almost actually went through myself was kind of misplaced determination, like, I’m gonna plant a flag. I don’t know, I’m just gonna nail the situation down. I’m going to rule out the uncertainties, you know? So, plans and goals; plans and goals. And for some of us in the face of that, we’re not looking. We’re not wondering, per se, in this more mysterious way. We are looking for opportunities and things. And that’s earnest, you know? That’s reasonable. However, it can waylay us, amazingly, if you can imagine, you know.

I spoke to a student several days ago who said they were three-quarters of the way to a Ph.D. and were stopped dead in their tracks. This is the pavement running out, the reality just draining away from your endeavor, yeah. So, these misplaced acts of determination and self-definition you know…and yet, for some of us, though we’re not looking, we can actually experience and sustain a sudden awakening. But, and I’ve met people who have described this. They were successful you know, and then something happened, often perhaps a crisis, a crisis. And that was the trigger, that was the trigger for waking up for them, yeah.

RS: So this awakening occurs because life has failed you or you have failed life, or the pavement has run out from under your feet, remarkably. Who knows why this happens at the time it does?

What Patricia and I are really speaking about here is your life beyond this life. (PS: Yeah) This is the life of relationship, timeless connection. Really not a physical life, it’s a life outside of physical form lived in many lifetimes in physical form. It is that life and all those relationships you have reclaimed to yourself that were forgotten. It’s like you left home to go to school and you forgot your parents, you forgot your home and your house, and all you know is the school and the kids running all over the place and throwing things. And you don’t know when, why… You don’t think Mother is ever gonna come pick you up because you don’t even remember that you have one (laughter). It’s like being at school with no end. (PS: Oh, gosh) (laughter) I’m sure…well, feel that out—maybe that that’s how life has felt to you, with all the exams, all the interpersonal social discomforts; the cliques; the clubs; the ends, the outs; the populars, the unpopulars. You know, you could say that this lifetime is kind of like a day at school that never ends. Well, it will when you leave this world. You suddenly wake up and find that you’re back at Home. But what would be powerful is if we could remember that we have a Home (PS: Oh, my gosh) while we’re in this world, in this life.